Laughing with people as they laugh at me

I recently purchased a minivan.  Though, really there isn’t anything mini about it.  This particular van my dad refers to as “the tank”.  There are several other vehicles driven by people all around my neighborhood that are bigger than my van.  It is big enough that I am grateful for the step by the doors that assists me in getting up and into the van.  Today when I was leaving the bank I stepped up onto the runner, lost my balance, fell against the open door, and barely righted myself before landing on my butt on the ground.  Of course the first thing I did was look around to see who may have seen this playout.  The bank has a wall of windows and as I looked in there were some smirks and some outright laughter as they waved and mouthed “Are you ok?”.  Yes, I was okay…if you didn’t count my bruised ego.  Ego.  Hmph!

How many of you have had something similar happen?  You trip on the stairs at school, work, the movie theater, the misplaced rug in the hotel lobby?  For how many of you was your first thought similar to mine, look around to see who noticed.  Then following up by trying to pretend nothing happened or making a self deprecating joke about your clumsiness or getting angry and yelling at someone else to hide your own embarrassment.  Why do we do these things?  Why must we feel we have to ignore what is, lessen ourself or stomp on someone else to “make it better”?  Why do we take what is a simple, innocent experience that has happened to nearly everyone and turn it into an experience where we tell ourselves we have something to be embarrassed about.  I suggest we do it because our ego tells us we have done soemthing that makes us look foolish.  Heaven forbid!  And, we will do anything to try and mask the fact that we could do anything foolish, even to our futher detriment.  Our ego often tries to “protect us” by telling us not to do things that may look foolish, that people might laugh at, not to say things that someone might think stupid, not to go for a dream because we may not be “enough” in some way.

This is the point where I say stop listening and start talking back.  Yes, I mean it.  For how many years have you been listening to your ego tell you “no” so you’ve been watching what could be your life from the sidelines?  It’s time for you to take back your life and start talking back.  If your heart is longing for something that your ego has told you you can’t have, start telling it to shut up and get out of the way.  Tell yourself you can!  Tell yourself you’re worthy!  Tell yourself you are enough!  Then get out there and take action!

If you end up falling on your butt, with your hair all askew and your soda on the ground…have a good laugh, thank the universe for the reminder that laughter is a good thing, recognize you gave someone else the gift of a good laugh, get up and keep going!

I can.

I’m worthy.

I’m enough.

I’m taking action on what I want.

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